Monday, September 06, 2004

Vanity Fair

Today was my last day of a long weekend. I didn't want it to end. I woke up late and then proceeded to go through my day as I had planned. Then, knowing that later would I would be going to the movies with my friend, I decided to try and make my hair look the way it did after I got my hair cut yesterday.
And, guess what...I did it! It looked lovely and curly. I had success with my hair. It generally has a mind of its own. Ahh, vanity. It is a wonderful thing at times, but it can be the end of people too.
In fact, after running my errands, I met my friend to see "Vanity Fair," a favorite book of mine that had been made into a film. The movie was beautiful. Such a great film to look at and watch. I was mesmerized. My spell was quickly broken whey my friend began to proclaim how boring it was and she hoped the book was better than the movie.
My heart was broken and my soul burned. How could she say something like that about a classic? Her attitude had already been slightly on the negative side when the movie started, but it was continuing and I felt extremely uncomfortable.
I didn't know if it was her attitude or her attack on a movie that I had quickly held to my heart like a fine book that struck me so hard. But I wanted to get away. Was this vanity? Was I looking for everyone else to love this movie as much as I did?
So, I left the movie theatre feeling anxious. I was upset by her lack of sensitivity. The stress of my return to work was hitting me as well. So, I looked for solace anywhere. I found it talking to a long-time friend, online. He was also feeling down. So, we talked everything out and found a better footing by the time we were done.
By the evening I was feeling much better. I had stress pounding in the back of my head, but I had it under control. I would take everything one item at a time, one day at a time. That was all could I do, right?
What had me feeling this way? Writing for my class about the day that my love proposed to me. It brought the true and genuine things back to me. The things that mattered came shooting at me like light. I am now content. I am only human. I have flaws and can only have so much under my control. Maybe sometimes it is vanity, but no one can be perfect.