Thursday, September 23, 2004

On Top of the World, Standing on Wobbling Legs

There are so many things going on in my life. Often I conquer the difficult things and achieve my goals, but then find myself just barely standing up after my battles. I found that today was the perfect example.
I have been working hard as a leader on a big event at work. Everything has come to fruition this week and I feel like I have fought 12 rounds and now I am standing in the center of the ring with a light on me. My arms are up in the air and the audience is cheering my name. But, then I realize, in my horror, my legs are giving underneath my weight. I see out on the horizon that there are more boxers waiting in line to fight me. And, until I fight the last boxer in line, I can't leave the ring.
This is my life. My life lately feels like one fight after another. One task after another. I feel like each minute, each hour, each day, each week is just something to get over, to get past. I am feeling overwhelmed and it seems that no matter how many times I achieve something, it doesn't make up for the gigantic task that lies ahead.
Today the event was finally where I wanted it to be. I even got media attention and there were no press releases sent. It was wonderful. Then I faced the reality of school and all the I need to complete this year. Why did I decide to get my graduate degree?
So, now I face even more coming into my life. More changes, more challenges. Can I just pray for the new year to make my life easier? Is that right to do?
I know that I probably feel whiny, but really this is just an attempt to destress, to release. Maybe a blog can be therapy?
I guess we will have to see.

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