I am amazed at the love I am feeling already for this little being growing inside me. I am 23 weeks into my pregnancy and our little Baby Dragon (yes, that is our nickname for our little one) has already endeared herself or himself to us. We have already given the baby some personality traits based on its activity throughout the day (boy, this baby moves) and its bit of attitude when we go in for ultrasounds. But, most interesting is that the baby's presence is so strong already that we talk to him or her quite often.
It isn't uncommon for me to talk to the baby in the mornings as I get ready for work. Wandering around the house, I find myself telling him or her about what I am doing and my to-do list for the day. It is just second nature.
"Mommy is feeding the cat. Hear her meowing. She is so silly. And, then we will eat some breakfast."
I also sing in the car (well, I did this before I was pregnant) and will talk to the baby about the song that is playing.
"Oh, mommy loves this song. She and daddy danced to it at their wedding. Daddy was so handsome."
But, then in a moment I stop myself and look around me. It seems a bit crazy what I'm doing. I'm talking to my still-developing baby while it's in my belly. Is it crazy?
They say that right now the baby's ears are developed and can hear sounds from outside. One of the things that attaches a baby to its mother and father are their voices. After hearing these voices from inside the womb, they are comforting and familiar to the baby right after it is delivered. Quite amazing.
Of course this understanding of the baby's listening ability is also what prompts parents-to-be to purchase little speakers that can be put on the mother's belly with the other end attached to an iPod. If you want your child to be cultured, why not start now? How about a little Mozart through the mini-speakers? Or, I have also seen a small device that supposedly emits noises that are aiding in your developing child's learning ability. You can give birth to your child and immediately give it an IQ test and begin to pick out colleges-- it's been learning all this time (I'm being sarcastic, but the ads practically claim this)!
Every week I read about the baby's development and what he or she is able to do. Only 23 weeks ago, there wasn't even a fetus in my body, but now there is a being with moving hands and feet, a beating heart, little lips that are already suckling, and ears that hear what I'm saying.
Although I may give pause to whether I seem a bit off for talking to my belly...I know I am going to keep doing it. As much as it is comforting to the baby inside, it's also comforting to me.
So don't mind the lady talking to her ever-expanding belly. She's just doing a little bonding with her baby.
As I was stretching and doing my morning breathing meditation, I let my mind wander to all of the love that surrounds me. I have always considered myself very blessed by the amazing people in my life. But, the love these people show me has become so very special during my pregnancy.
Ryan has made comment that perhaps the arrival of our baby is one of this year's most anticipated events (summer olympics, sorry). At least it seems that way among our friends and family. It may not be true, but the fact that they make us feel this way is truly wonderful.
Some days, the prospect of all the responsibility becomes a bit overwhelming (part reality kicking in and part weepy hormones). But, when I think of all the love that surrounds us, it all becomes clear. We will not be raising this child all on our own. This child will have some of the smartest, most creative, most caring people with whom to interact. Just as Ryan and I have benefited from those around us, our child will as well. What a gift.
On this Mother's Day...I dedicate this post to my mum, a woman who has shown me that love, kindness and appreciation are the tenets with which we treat others. She also showed me that a woman can work hard, raise a wonderful family, and show motherly kindness to those in need through generosity.
When you are a pregnant woman over the age of 35, there is a lot of caution given to you by your physician. You are at higher risk for everything. And, you undergo every test possible to seek the actual chances. My statistics for risks thus far have been proven low, for my age - thank goodness. The pretty cool perk that comes with all of this caution is you get way more ultrasounds. These are a treat!
So, yes, Ry and I bask in the glow of this little science project that is currently growing in my belly and ultrasounds are pretty cool just from that aspect. I am still awe from the last ultrasound...we saw my little baby's heart - I mean really saw his or her heart. All its chambers pumping away, delivering blood to the baby's body. Amazing! We also saw the baby's brain and spine, long lean legs (crossed at the ankles, by the way), the toes that have been kicking at me, and the little hands. Science has let me see my baby's first photos.
We look forward to ultrasounds not just because we can see some amazing things happening each time, but also because it is our one glimpse at the little baby with whom we are already extremely attached and smitten.
Last time we went in for an ultrasound, the technician was a bit peeved because the baby was not facing the right way so we could not have an image of that perfect baby profile. The baby's back was facing outward. The tech moved the wand around, trying to coax the baby. Our little dragon gave in part of the way. We could see part of the face, the remainder was resting against the placenta. We were giggling. Already, this little one has its own little personality and attitude it seems. This journey is a fantastic one. I look forward to holding my baby for the first time, but right now...I am enjoying his or her first photos.
Introducing Little Dragon...the ultrasound you see is from 13 weeks. You can see the baby's profile, a hand just below the chin and farther down a foot and toes.
Today, as I was driving into work...I decided it was high time I post on my blog again. It has been months and months of wasteland on my poor blog sphere.
What has prompted my sudden attitude to write on my lonely blog? I think it may be the fact that I am pregnant - it may be the hormones, in fact. Facebook and Twitter seem too incredibly impersonal for posting about this precious gift. My blog is the only little island where I know I can run away to share my thoughts and they still seem intimate (this is strange, I know, since this is on the World Wide Internets).
I am also feeling this overwhelming urge to document a bit about myself...perhaps for the little one who is currently moving about in my belly (creepy, but so cool, right?). I want him or her to know that his or her mother had thoughts, ideas, dreams, adventures...and I hope this "Little Dragon" (as we have come to call the baby - it is the year of the dragon, hence the name) will also pursue all of these things with his or her own independence and fervor.
Change is on the horizon at the Cerf-Dehmer home, but oh, baby...what an amazing, miraculous change. We are waiting with anticipation and enjoying every day of the journey that result in the birth of our own little human. Yeah, we are pretty blessed, filled with joy and just loving it all right now. I can't imagine it any other way.
post script - since I am currently 21 weeks...we are a little over halfway there with our journey, but I hope to log more in the upcoming 19 weeks (give or take a few weeks). I hope some of my favorite people will tune in.