Saturday, January 29, 2005


Over the past week, I have learned how amazing and fragile my body is. I have been reminded of how every function, every organ, every vein is interconnected to make me a walking, talking, working organic machine.

The heart for instance. It is said to enable us to feel emotions and is the core of our faith, beliefs and motivations. The heart is the center of the machine. It makes everything else work in perfect motion and tune. Perhaps because it is the center of all, it has a connection to our soul? Deep down we know its importance to keeping us alive and so we have matched it with those philosophies that keep us alive as well.

The brain is another center. It is synonymous with learning and logic. This week, the brain has taken on a whole other meaning for me. It is like a second house. It houses all of the neurons needed for me to feel, think, speak and imagine. It works in conjunction with the heart so that we are complete machines.

The kidney was one center in my body I never thought I would find relevant. But, this week, I have made a connection with my kidneys. I read about all that they do and they actually keep my heart and body in tune. They are the regulators. I try to send positive energy to my kidneys every day in the hopes that they can continue doing their job.

Of everything, I have learned most to listen to my body. I need to pay attention to what it is telling me because I can make it run at its best. Too often I wear my body down with work, stress, and sleep deprivation. I think the Romans and Greeks understood how wonderful they're bodies were. They treated their bodies like they were temples. Resting, relaxing, exercising, improving, but not beyond their limits. They kept their bodies balanced.

Now I know my body is a home that needs care and respect.

Thursday, January 13, 2005


Acronyms can be so sneaky. They never let on the true capacity of the thing for which they stand. ISS...this is something I looked for in the sky last night, imagining the possibilities and all of the new things that would be discovered.

ISS is the International Space Station and I had the opportunity to spot it in the sky last night with my telescope. It was amazing. It looked like a swift shooting star; a streak of light.

After viewing the ISS through my telescope, I turned my viewfinder around and looked at the sliver of a moon that hung in the sky. As I put my eye to the lens and stared up at the glowing smile, I could see craters and shadows. It was right in front me and seemed close enough to touch...not millions of light years away.

Space is an amazing vast. So many of the things that I have seen through a telescope or in photos taken by satellites, seems so unreal. One of my favorite sites to visit is I have lately been enthralled with photos taken by Cassini. The rings of Saturn are so elegant, so beautiful.

Space is definitely not the final frontier...the journey is just beginning.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Crazy Talk

Tonight I just feel like writing with nothing in particular in mind. Perhaps, I have something in mind...hmmm.

Ah, yes.

This morning I was honored enough to attend the Governor's Inter-Faith Prayer Breakfast. Ever since Governor Napolitano took office she has started the legislative session with inter-faith prayer. It is an invitation-only event and I lucky enough to be invited. It was quite beautiful!

I have never been in a room with so many inspirational people. A Hopi woman presented her prayer for the children and it was amazing. I could feel my heart swell. This woman was filled with love, hope, faith and beauty. She was wise and at-peace. I envied her.

Another religious community leader stepped forward. He was from a local Islamic mosque. His singing of the scripture was so melodic. I closed my eyes and it set me in a moment of meditation. The notes swam through my head and I could hear his pleading to God through his voice. That is what a prayer to God should be...a song.

God appears at the most unexpected times for me. The breakfast put me in a wonderful mood for the rest of the day. Perhaps I should always begin my day with a heartfelt prayer? Perhaps I need the Almighty in my life more often than I am willing to admit?

Sunday, January 09, 2005


I stayed up last night watching an Elvis movie marathon on AMC. You know he was a genius. I am pretty sure that Elvis set the standard for many celebrities on how they market themselves. He wore tight pants, shook his pelvis, always had dreamy looks on his face, kissed a lot of girls and sang as much as possible. They accentuated his good qualities. If not for this, really he wasn't a great actor...he was just himself. And, the scripting was always horribly cheesy.

Also, I am pretty sure that slutty looking women were placed as his counterparts so that straight-laced women could watch the movie and say, "He would definitely want to be with me. Why would he want to be with that slutty woman? Yes, if Elvis met me, he would want to be with me!"

Elvis was a fantasy that the record company and the movie director was selling to hormone-driven girls. What genius!

I know plenty of women today who go to see movies simply because there is a good-looking male actor in it. Regardless of whether it is crap or not, they will spend the money to live out two hours of fantasy. It is pathetic, but genius! Directors and publicists have figured out women so terrificly. We are romantics at heart and don't mind making ourselves vulnerable. They give us the men on the screen that we would never have in real life. We want the knight in shining armor. We want the man who will hold up a radio in the middle of the night to profess his love to us. We want the man who will fumble the first time, but redeem himself later with an over-the-top public display of his adoration.

Of course, it may be that the movies have made us want these things. I wouldn't want to be a man in our current society. Media has created expectations that would be hard to live up to. Plus, figuring out whether a woman wants to be pampered and taken care of...or independent and she's calling the shots! Things are complex. Men must never know where they stand with women. Well, let me tell you a little secret...women are like that with other women as well. They're your friends one moment and then they are stabbing you in the back. They are a hauty little sex that frankly puzzles me most of the time...and I'm a woman.

After writing makes me realize why I prefer having male friends. Female friends are too much work! They expect movie-level relationships from everyone...male or female.

So, back to Elvis...I watched his movies last night not just for reveling in his marketing savvy, but because he holds so many memories for me. Elvis was my first crush as a child. My mum had a plethora of his records and I fell in love at the age of 6. I would sit on the blue-flowered daybed in our den, an Elvis record playing on my Playskool Record Player, clutching the record cover in my little fingers. Once in a while I would kiss the tanned face on the cover or just talk to him about how one day I will meet him. Little did I know at that time he had already died. I even pulled my friend, Jenny, into the Elvis fan club. She would come over to the house when one of his movies was on TV. We were in love with him!

My dreamy fantasy of Elvis lasted until I was 10. That was when I discovered Dave Gahan from Depeche Mode, Robert Smith from The Cure and Adam Ant. How I went from beautifully bronzed and perfectly coifed Elvis to these three is still a mystery to me, but they began to adorn my notebooks at school. I don't think I ever discovered real boys...those right in front of me...until I was in high schoool. Up until that point, they were simply people to whom I talked or played with after school. I might have been considered a tomboy.

Well, I have once again begun to appreciate Elvis. He is a running theme for my best friend and I. We appreciate his gyrating pelvis and tight pants. We also appreciate all the images his songs bring. To complete our love affair with the King...we are making a pilgrimage this summer to Graceland. I look forward to possibly distilling some little secret about Elvis, my first crush.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Gray = Happiness?

Why is it that on gray, cloudy days, I feel the happiest and most content? Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't live somewhere a little more gloomy (weather-wise). Of course, that may be why I love places like Seattle, San Francisco...and adore London.

Today there is a steel blue sky hovering ahead. The clouds look as if they will burst with rain and thunder. I am waiting with anticipation that the evening with begin with a lovely storm. There is just something so comforting about such weather. I have this urge to sit in the middle of the yard, listen to Sarah McLachlan and stare up at the sky. I want to meditate, breathe in and out, deep cleansing breaths. I want bring to light deep thought to the overwhelming beat of my heart.

As I close my eyes, I can imagine the sound of waves on the ocean's coast. Dark blue waves the color of the sky touch the shore and come within inches of my bare toes. I can slmost feel the coolness of wet sand under my feet. I reach down and my imagination enables me to feel the soft, smooth grains of the sand between my fingers. I smell the sweet, salty smell of the ocean; my nostrils imbibe the fragrance and instantly I am more relaxed. Ahhhhhhh. My eyes feel heavy and my body the same time. I am inside myself. I am in touch with my soul. Deep inside I am a work of art, a painting with strokes and colors added every moment of my life.

The strokes added today are those of a stormy imprint of a moment of solace. A moment by the ocean. A moment of meditation. A moment in my soul.

Friday, January 07, 2005

One Year: The Countdown Begins

Exactly one year from today, my fiance and I will be getting married. In fact, at this moment, we will be preparing to take our first dance as husband and wife. I never thought I would feel so excited until this morning. I had a revelation as I drove into work.

The countdown begins. In the next year, we will plan a wedding and I will complete my final semester of school. Also, before the summer begins, my love will return to Arizona and the long weekends twice a month will end. Our life together will be be back to normal.

I suppose everyone reflects over the last year and then makes resolutions for the year to come. I have so many resolutions and so many plans...but, for me, my year doesn't truly start until May. That is when school will be over and the real planning for my wedding and the rest of my life will start.

The summer already is filled with several projects and my tall book pile awaits hours of leisure time. I look forward to a road trip with my best friend, exploring new parts of the country. So many things--looking for a wedding dress, finalizing caterers, flowers and caterers, and, then, reorganizing my home.

Working on our home...that is something I can't wait to begin. When we moved into our home three years ago, we never were able to find the time to truly organize the house we wanted to...only one week before we moved fiance's mother had passed away after two years of fighting a terminal illness. And, only two days after we moved in our things, I began my master's degree. Every bit of my attention went to school and work. The house had to be put aside for the time being. Summers became times to catch up at work and to do the best we could with the house. But, never could we get the house we wanted it in that short amount of time.

I feel as if I am standing in a long a line, waiting for a magnificent roller coaster. I am impatient as I wait to get to the front of the line and finally sit in one of the seats. The roller coaster is only a few turnstiles away. I can't wait!

I love roller coasters.