Thursday, September 02, 2004

It's Easy to Find Yourself When You're the Only in the Room

Today is the first day of my blog. I decided that a blog would be a wonderful way for me to make myself write. And, I expect to have a lot to write about. This is my final year of graduate school and the person I have been sharing my life with for the past eight years is living in another state temporarily for work.
I have never been alone...I mean really alone before. I have always had people I love and know around me. I never knew it would be so difficult to take care of a home and do the rest of my things in my life all by myself. I have always considered myself independent, but now I am starting to reconsider whether I really am.
My life on my own has been interesting so far. Last week my friend and I went to see Chris Isaak. What an amazing performer! I have never seen a grown man wear a suit made of mirrors. He made it work!
After the concert, I got a taste of what it would be like if I was single again. We went to a club in a ritzy part of town. I had to dress up and wear heels. Yuck! Besides feeling uncomfortable and having some painful feet, the dancing was great. However, I have never had my butt touched by so many men in such a short amount of time. Now I know how dogs and cats feel when strangers constantly pet them. Ugh!
So, the Labor Day weekend is looming and I am working on filling in every amount of time I can with school work and social activities. I determined to make myself feel okay with being on my own. I am determined to show everyone I love to be by myself.
I know this is perposterous considering I am engaged and have been with the same man for so long, but isn't this something we, as women, are supposed to prove to ourselves. We are strong, independent and never needy of anyone! We only need our shoes, chocolate, walk-in closets and clothes that make us thin?
That just isn't me...I need my music, a hug from the one I love, a smile from a friend and books...tons and tons of books!
This will be an interesting journey. I will look forward to writing in here everyday. Enjoy reading! I will enjoy writing!