You ever notice how no matter how close you are to someone, no matter how much you appreciate them and know them, it doesn't mean you will not find yourself disagreeing with them. Those are the times when it is best to agree not to agree. Friendships and loves are never worth the sacrifice of winning a debate.
Agree to disagree is even easier if you look at a debate/disagreement not as a way to win your way, but as a way to discuss the topic at hand, and perhaps you will actually learn something you never learned before. Other people are wise.
I like to engage people in discussion. I am completely drawn to people and their passions. I love hearing them talk about those things they feel so strongly about. There aren't too many things I can say I feel that way about. Their passion makes me envious. Why don't I have more conviction? Maybe I am just too unsure? Maybe I want to get the opportunity to hear their point?
Tonight, I pointed and counterpointed with a friend and saw an entirely different side of this person. A side that made me respect them all the more. They had an experience that made them feel a certain way and so did I. We talked about it, it got heated, but then we finally just ended on the note that we were just that way. Both sides were based on very personal and in-your-face experiences in our lives. We wouldn't let down. But, we recognized it. We saw that we were coming to an impasse.
I think that because of this experience, more often I will enter a disagreement wanting to hear more about the other's opinion. Wanting to see how much I can learn from them, rather than just assuming that my defenses are more worthy.
I also learned that I need to have more confidence in my personal convictions. I need to stand up on my own two feet more often and be proud of the strong voice I am putting out into the crowd. I want my voice to be heard. I want it to make an impact. This is something that I will use to enrich my writing....a confident, strong, knowing voice.
Thank you, my friend, for teaching this to me. This is something we can both agree on.
Letting the Days Go By
3 months ago