Monday, October 05, 2009

It Must Be Autumn

It must be Autumn. I am sitting on my patio this evening with a cool breeze brushing against my cheek. There is a wonderful wrapping quiet outside with smidgens of the football game on the TV inside the house slipping out to lick at my ear.

It must be Autumn. I am having that lovely heaviness that hits me when it becomes cooler outside. I become reflective on my life at this time of the year and more apt to listen to classical and folk music (better for thinking). It is a time of renewal for me...almost like my own New Year. The time when I want to take on a new skin. It isn't just because it is my favorite season, but because it is my birthday.

It must be Autumn. I am facing my successes and failures head on and wondering what the next year will hold for me. Already, I was lamenting the confusion I am feeling about who I really am and who I want to be. Wouldn't I have this figured out at 33 (34 in only a few days)? I won't lie, there was a deliciousness to feeling the tears on my cheek become cold in the wind that blew through my car window, a tangible release.

It must be Autumn. I am beginning to smell apples and cinnamon in the air. I am longing to buy a pumpkin for carving. I want set off on a hiking trail lined with oak and ash, leaves changing into crimson, umber, and yellow. The Halloween decorations are calling my name. The orange and black, spiders and skulls, bring to me such wonderful memories from childhood. I can't help but smile while I am brilliantly torn on the inside.

It must be Autumn. I hope this season slows to a simmer for me to sip it up; savor and swirl it around among my senses. I think I'll sit out here on my patio a little longer and stare at the yellow moon that is telling me to prepare for a beautiful Fall.


Mom said...

You write so beautifully. Your views on Autumn reflect my own views. It is my favorite time of year. It is falling leaves, Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, cool nights, family all around me, the smells of pumpkin pie an cinnamon. Thanks for letting me share your moment.

Ginger Knecht (otherwise known as MOM)

Rachel said...

All that hit me last night too. I was reading a book and all the windows were open and the cold air was coming in and suddenly it was Autumn. Lovely.